This is a wonderful story, and I applaud you for your strength and conviction. You have long term plans for your child, whereas many parents would not think ahead for him.
Yesterday, I went to my college bookstore. The line to check out was long. There was a man behind me who was autistic. He was searching out friends as he stood in line alone. The concept of being alone to me was wonderful, because he was quite capable of being alone. He waited in that terribly long line, not to purchase books like the rest of us, but to buy a “nutty bar” he said. There was another man in front of him, but left the line because he didn’t seem to want to stand with the man who had autism. But the one who left the line was just one… out of about 20 of us, just one. The man behind him talked to the man with autism for the full 30 minutes about nutty bars and gummy bears. I heard a story about his father letting him have 50 cents to buy a candy bar and how he had been in college for three years now.
He was happy. His world was fine. That is what life is all about.
This is a fascinating and enlightening account of what it is like to parent a child with autism. But you also provide much neglected insight into what it is like to BE a person with autism.
I look forward to hearing more — like the impact it has on family life, how siblings handle the ‘fierce’ protectiveness for their brother, and how dad leads his son in the ways of maleness.
Excellent!
Comment by Virginia Wells |
August 26, 2009
| Reply
Well, I guess that’s a good thing, then, because a quantum leap is a very very very very very tiny little leap made by a very very very very very time little atom.
Seriously, I expect that the change is more gradual than quantum, but since cable television and, sorry to say it, MTV hit the US, our typical language changes have become more revolutionary than evolutionary. I am not a happy camper, but I will use “very” very often, and I will split my infinitives now and again.
Well, I am a father a 10 year old girl. While she is not clinically autistic, I find it the easiest way to explain her to others that have not been exposed to children with special needs. As I write this I worry more about the words I choose vs. the emotion that I feel. The only emotion I feel is….sad that she will never do many of the things that growing up and being and adult mean.. but glad that she is a happy kid almost frozen in that wonderful magical time that is being a kid. While her chronological age and(developing body) are 10, her mental academic age is about 2-3. Her social age is much more advanced. We still have to dress her, brush her teeth and give her a bath but she is a loving and happy child.
I often tell people that having a daughter like mine is no different from having a exceptionally gifted child… as a parent you have to provide each child the parenting they need.. for however long they need it. Looking back at your comments Miss Suzy, about how when you first saw Rain Man and how it was just another topic that briefly entered your mind then left as soon as something else entered. I think back to my life experiences and realize that kids like ours and parents like us were all around us but we just never saw than nor did we have to. I now know that while it might feel random it really isn’t and the complexities, challenges, and joys of life, relationships, parenting, growing up/old are often difficult but that within them is the real joy of life. My daughter has brought joy and love to my life that I never knew I could experience. How can that be you ask.. well I don’t know… I just know that I stopped trying to make sense of the why things are and just enjoy them as they are.
MIss Suzy, Very Impressive…. I have 3 children and have not had to cope with the struggles you describe so well. While one of my sons was diagniosed as a type 1 diabetic on 3/3/08. we have come together as a family and learned to live with his disease quite well. Autism I think is something that is far more complex and and would make teaching “Life-Skills” seem all the more unreachable. Your son is lucky to have you as a MOM! You sound like his best chance of being self reliant and making his own way in this world……. WOW I would never have seen that in 1984!
Ken Eads
Comment by Kenneth Eads |
September 22, 2009
| Reply
This is a wonderful story, and I applaud you for your strength and conviction. You have long term plans for your child, whereas many parents would not think ahead for him.
Yesterday, I went to my college bookstore. The line to check out was long. There was a man behind me who was autistic. He was searching out friends as he stood in line alone. The concept of being alone to me was wonderful, because he was quite capable of being alone. He waited in that terribly long line, not to purchase books like the rest of us, but to buy a “nutty bar” he said. There was another man in front of him, but left the line because he didn’t seem to want to stand with the man who had autism. But the one who left the line was just one… out of about 20 of us, just one. The man behind him talked to the man with autism for the full 30 minutes about nutty bars and gummy bears. I heard a story about his father letting him have 50 cents to buy a candy bar and how he had been in college for three years now.
He was happy. His world was fine. That is what life is all about.
This is a fascinating and enlightening account of what it is like to parent a child with autism. But you also provide much neglected insight into what it is like to BE a person with autism.
I look forward to hearing more — like the impact it has on family life, how siblings handle the ‘fierce’ protectiveness for their brother, and how dad leads his son in the ways of maleness.
Excellent!
Well, I guess that’s a good thing, then, because a quantum leap is a very very very very very tiny little leap made by a very very very very very time little atom.
Seriously, I expect that the change is more gradual than quantum, but since cable television and, sorry to say it, MTV hit the US, our typical language changes have become more revolutionary than evolutionary. I am not a happy camper, but I will use “very” very often, and I will split my infinitives now and again.
Well, I am a father a 10 year old girl. While she is not clinically autistic, I find it the easiest way to explain her to others that have not been exposed to children with special needs. As I write this I worry more about the words I choose vs. the emotion that I feel. The only emotion I feel is….sad that she will never do many of the things that growing up and being and adult mean.. but glad that she is a happy kid almost frozen in that wonderful magical time that is being a kid. While her chronological age and(developing body) are 10, her mental academic age is about 2-3. Her social age is much more advanced. We still have to dress her, brush her teeth and give her a bath but she is a loving and happy child.
I often tell people that having a daughter like mine is no different from having a exceptionally gifted child… as a parent you have to provide each child the parenting they need.. for however long they need it. Looking back at your comments Miss Suzy, about how when you first saw Rain Man and how it was just another topic that briefly entered your mind then left as soon as something else entered. I think back to my life experiences and realize that kids like ours and parents like us were all around us but we just never saw than nor did we have to. I now know that while it might feel random it really isn’t and the complexities, challenges, and joys of life, relationships, parenting, growing up/old are often difficult but that within them is the real joy of life. My daughter has brought joy and love to my life that I never knew I could experience. How can that be you ask.. well I don’t know… I just know that I stopped trying to make sense of the why things are and just enjoy them as they are.
have not read this personally, but thought it sounded worth a try & thought you all might as well-
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Anything-but-Typical/Nora-Raleigh-Baskin/e/9781416963783/?itm=1
MIss Suzy, Very Impressive…. I have 3 children and have not had to cope with the struggles you describe so well. While one of my sons was diagniosed as a type 1 diabetic on 3/3/08. we have come together as a family and learned to live with his disease quite well. Autism I think is something that is far more complex and and would make teaching “Life-Skills” seem all the more unreachable. Your son is lucky to have you as a MOM! You sound like his best chance of being self reliant and making his own way in this world……. WOW I would never have seen that in 1984!
Ken Eads